The Witty Lizard

Ramblings of a grilling, drinking, black flag hoisting father and philosophical eclectic.

The Witty Lizard - Ramblings of a grilling, drinking, black flag hoisting father and philosophical eclectic.

Tag Archives: crazy

Inmates Are Running the Asylum

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally …you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the only school curriculum allowed to explain how we got here is evolution, but the government stops a $15 million construction project to keep a rare spider from evolving to extinction … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor or check out a library book, but not to vote who runs the government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If a seven-year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher’s “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the government’s plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

Another Bit of Madness

My madness has it’s own story (more on that in a bit) but this is about her…

Things have been progressing quite well with my divorce, or so I thought. She has been dragging her feet for months and although she was given papers several weeks ago that were supposed to be final, I haven’t heard anything from here. The only frustrating thing about that (I’m used to her slow playing) is that the papers were based on a conversation we had during which we agreed on everything, supposedly. I say supposedly because yesterday I got an email from her outlining a couple of “requests”.

The first on wasn’t all that crazy. She wants to have the right of first refusal. Simply, if I have plans, she wants to be asked to keep the kids before I make other arraignments. Not unreasonable.

Here is where her madness appears. Her second request is that she meets any girlfriend I may have and approve the relationship and if the girl can meet the kids…. WHAT THE FUCK!!!! It’s none of her damn business who I see or when or how. Plus, can you imagine that request, “Hey baby, let’s go meet my ex… No she’s not crazy at all, you’ll love her.”

It seems to me that she is fishing. Wanting to know what I’m up to. You know what? I divorced her on purpose….

Anyway, after all of this time, her crazy can still amaze me.

 

 

NCAA Sanctions

These sanctions are devastating, probably worse than SMU. Penn State may not recover for 20+ years. It’s a rough situation for the current players, probably unfair. All of that being said, it might not be enough.

Football isn’t all about winning. Lou Holtz made a great point when he said that BCS football is out of control. The size, money and power is out if hand.

Crazy is really the only word that comes to mind. I have talked several times about the rabbit hole. Obviously, this is a unique situation and I don’t mean to imply that these things are rampant in college football. However, Paterno and Penn State with out question exhibited an over riding and pervasive lack of control at best and total lack of concern at worst. Either way, they deserved what they got.

Thus closes the book on Joe Paterno as anything other than a footnote in football history. Good riddance.

Fun with Science

Brandon Weeden and clay pigeons, this is really cool. He said it took him seven tries, which doesn’t sound all that crazy considering the shear velocity of a clay pigeon.

Connecting on for out five is amazing. But practice helps I’m sure. Regardless, Weeden is a stud and this is just fun to watch.

Great Night in Arlington

Neftali Feliz was crazy good tonight.

A little rough in the first, understandable given that this was his first major league start. Solid defense in the form of a double play allowed him to escape form a 2 walk first.

Then he settled into a rhythm.

Great command of his off speed pitches and still a dominating fastball.

It’s only one start but it looks like the beginning of great things to come. Remember, he was rookie of the year two years ago with no closer experience. This is a guy who can pitch and a guy who has pitched in the most pressure pack of environs.

If 7 innings, 4 H, 4 K, 2 BB, and NO runs is the norm, the Rangers just might turn the corner and win it all this year.

Well done Nefti, I’m looking forward to what happens five days from now.

Holy Hell?!?

Redskins’ Mike Shanahan puts legacy on line with blockbuster deal to draft QB Robert Griffin III – NFL – Yahoo! Sports

What in the world is Shanahan thinking? Let me preface this post by reiterating that I hate all things Baylor, but this is madness. The Redskins have officially put the entire franchise on the back of a guy who never played in a BCS game. That in and of itself is not the end all measure of a QB, but it does speak on some level to the winning the RG3 has done in college. I can buy the Heisman, he had a monster year, but the future of a franchise is a bit of a stretch.

The point is this is a guy who wasn’t sure if he would get drafted as a QB or as an athlete when the year started. Suddenly, he is the #2 pick? Even if they think he’s the franchise, to trade three #1′s and a #2 is crazy for any one player. I hope he is the greatest thing ever, or at least as good as Donovan McNabb was, but this just reeks of desperation and utter madness.

Oh, and remember, he never beat the Pokes….

In a related note, does Blackmon goes to Cleveland? And what if they take Weeden with their #2? The offseason is always a lot of fun.

Weird

It is apparently 2012 (j/k) because I just saw a crazy greenish light burn away in the sky. I guess it was a meteor, but I’ve never seen anything like that before. It was cool. I don’t buy into the end of the world, religious nut or conspiracy theories so it was just kind of weird. Maybe it’s a harbinger of good tidings, I could sure use some of that in my life about now.

Post Script…. I got my leg back today, so it has been a pretty good day on balance.

Was a Good Day

I found something to excite me, to piqué my interest today. This writing thing is really a creative outlet I never thought I would get into quite like I have. It also amazes me that I have so much stuff to say. OK not really, but who knew that putting it on paper would be this liberating.

I just added a page to the Manifesto all about my thoughts on society and the social contract. I have always read people like Hobbs, Plato, Marx, Locke, Jefferson and many other political philosophers. It’s always been a of hobby of mine, educating myself on writings of the classic thinkers.

That being said, I just wrote 800+ words on the social contract and how it relates to 2012. Really enjoyed writing it and I hope that my writing pace increases from this point forward. Who knows, but I know I have a lot to say.

Crazy how life changes from day-to-day….. Maybe that’s a topic for tomorrow.

The Genius

William Ernest Walsh has suddenly risen to hero status in my pantheon of great football coaches. Mount Rushmore in my opinion consists of Mouse, Mike, Vince, and now Bill. Maverick, innovator, intelligent, odd, even crazy are words that have been used to describe all of them. Successful, out of the box thinkers are people I admire. People have called me most the things on that list.

Walsh is interesting to me because I really had no idea that he was a member of the crew. I just finished reading The Genius, a biography of Walsh by David Harris. The book truly opened my eyes and changed my opinion of the man called the Genius. I grew up during the dynasty of the 49ers in the eighties which obviously shaped my thoughts on Walsh.

I always thought of Walsh as an old stuffy guy, never really paying much attention to him or his team except to wish they would lose at some point. Of course, I wasn’t a football coach then. Nor did I appreciate the subtleties of leading a group all headed in a singular direction. After reading this book I have a new-found respect for Walsh, his vision, his struggles, and his place on the list of truly great football coaches.

It can be difficult for a 12-year-old to get past the white hair, professor look that Walsh was working. I just thought of him as another old guy who coached in the NFL. I have always thought that NFL coaches are all cut from the same cloth, boring and predictable, and I still do, but I digress. Turns out that is not the case here. Yes Walsh was old in the 80s, well to a 12-year-old anyway. But that was because the 49ers head coaching job was his first time in the big chair on the professional level. He didn’t even get the opportunity until he was almost 50. But when he did, he turned pro football on its collective ear.

Never before had the NFL seen a team that threw the ball that many times or with such success. He had a plan and implemented it without hesitation. He threw the ball when they said he couldn’t. He dropped players and remade the roster almost yearly until he found the right mix of talent and personalities.

Bold, brilliant, and creative.

But haunted. The dichotomy of Walsh was apparently striking. Singular of purpose, bold, and unafraid marked his life inside football. However, outside, he was troubled, hunted, scared even. Afraid of failure and disappointment he left the game to early do to the pressure finally burning him out.

An outstanding book, anyone interested in football, leadership, or biographies should read this book. I really enjoyed it and could relate to both his football/leadership philosophies and the insecurities that ultimately wore him down. This book reenforced several of my thoughts on how to build a football program. It also brought to my consciousness a man who I knew about but had never really thought about.

I’m glad I read this book. Bill Walsh is a man who I greatly admire and belongs in the group of great football minds and innovators. It appears that I am late to this party, the moniker “Genius” doesn’t just appear out of the ether. He is without a doubt included in my particular version of the coaching Mount Rushmore.

Read this book, it’s wonderful.

The Lizard in All of Us

Why The Witty Lizard?

There is a condition in all of us referred to as the lizard brain that is responsible rampant disharmony in our existence. Here is a humorous and informative YouTube video based on the concepts presented by Seth Godin in his book Linchpin.

What is the Lizard Brain?

The lizard brain is the thing that tells us to do all the things that kept us alive for a millennium, the 5 F’s if you like: feed, fear, fuck, and feel good. The basic primeval responses to, well, everything. But mostly fear. When we were cavemen, we had to exercise caution. Chasing that 5000 lbs mammoth is probably not a great idea, he is big strong and mean, we might die. Although, if we don’t eat, we WILL die. Herein lies the contradiction.

We really want, even need to partake in 4 of the 5 F’s and we want to do it right the fuck now! Unfortunately, fear invariably fouls things up. We are afraid of pain. We are afraid of what other people think about us. We are afraid to eat something because we might not like it. Here lies an interesting phenomenon about the lizard, memory. Remember the lizard is only concerned with keeping us alive and happy. Everything that we experience is recorded somewhere deep inside the lizard brain, both good and bad. We want to repeat the good and eliminate the bad. Any animal can be conditioned to avoid the bad and find the good. Pavlov and his dog, mice in a maze, cattle at feeding time, these are all examples of the lizard brain at work. Thus fear is the number one motivating factor in any animals life, including humans.

Fear keeps us from giving in to all of those base desires. Taken by itself, that is a great thing, otherwise we may not have ever made it this far. But part of human nature is aggression and impulsiveness, you know those other F’s. The emotional response to any and all situations. These are actions that tend to fall outside of societal norms. The aggressor is thought of as the bad guy in most circles. Society has deemed impulsiveness to be a treatable medical condition. Humans want to fit in so the lizard brain throws fear at us, and in the modern world, acceptance is most people’s biggest fear.

Should we be careful or should we be aggressive? Should we be impulsive or rational? Is the best path to give into fear and tread lightly or should we throw caution to the wind and embrace our primeval side? That is truly a question each individual has to answer for themselves.

I have been referred to my whole life as a loud, obnoxious, boorish, overbearing ass. Basically all of the traits that society deems unacceptable but probably would have placed me at the top of the food chain 10,000 years ago. It bears mentioning that it is in fact 2012 not the stone age. Therefor, there must be some temperance applied to this battle.

For me, this is a battle between what society wants from us and what makes us great. Those things are at odds these days in ever-increasing fashion. Not to say however, that I want to live outside of society, removed from the world for the sake of my principles. Quite the contrary. I want to excel in society by not being afraid.

I want to seek adventure and truth without fear. I don’t want to work and have meetings because society says we should. I don’t want to fear my boss coming down on me for running up the score because it looks bad. I want to run it up because I am creative and bold and not afraid to attack. I’m tired of living in a box created by society. I want to explore new ideas, be aggressive, be impulsive, be spontaneous and not worry about what other people think.

Fear has been crippling the human race for eons. Occasionally, great men come along and jump out of the box. So that is my plan. I may not change the world but I damn sure am going to change my little piece of it.

Fuck fear. Embrace the base desires inherent in the human psyche. Think outside of the box and change your destiny.

I decided to call this blog the Witty Lizard to remind me to throw fear aside and fight the lizard. It is also to remind me to laugh at myself and not take life to seriously, we are just here for a short time, let’s have some fun while we can.